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Hopefully, it will finally end with Samantha, Faith, Jeldin, and Namara.

They’re almost 30, and this drama is still playing out—showing how ongoing friendship conflicts can impact not just individuals, but entire families and communities. For me, speaking up and cutting this toxic cycle is a matter of health and well-being, not just preference. It takes energy from me that I could have spent on myself, my career goals, and my own nuclear family.

FYI: Nadia Mbire and I started university traumatized by Shambe’s family. So much of how we related—or didn’t trust each other—stems from this group and how I behaved after what Shambe’s mother did to us in 2008. Every parent needs to take responsibility for their own nuclear home – not outsource shame onto others who were victims of their sons or daughters.

When Tayo then asked about Lucy and Nadia, she didn’t know how sensitive it was for me—but now she can understand the snapback.

Welcome to the Reality Cheque

Life doesn’t come with a reset button. Time, health, and relationships are deeply interconnected—whether people acknowledge it or hide behind “Christianity,” the UMCC Church, or Tina Ford Musc (not Tina herself, but those who used her as a cover and the friends who supported them). The clearest lessons don’t come from success or celebration—they come from watching how people behave when there is nothing to gain.

This is a reflection based on my lived experience with specific individuals and a shared community before Kevin Shonubi even moved to Canada.

MEGA: Do not speak on my behalf to the Baganda/UMCC community in Toronto. You have been doing this since Edgar Mutungi died in 2007 and enough is enough. You ruined a friendship between Nadia and Maggie out of your own jealousy and lack of respect for other people’s reality. My cousins daughter is half muganda if you ever paid attention to the reality of Yassah. I have cousins who are half baganda. HELLO VANCOUVER!!!! Andrew don’t let them fool you—they had their crushes in BC too.

You do not have my permission to represent me, involve my name, or create narratives about me—especially through mutuals we grew up with.

What has been most frustrating is seeing you involve and confuse people like Rowena Kizito, Rachael Nalumu, Lynette Tedoldi, and others who were around our age, including quieter individuals like Asher or Martin’s daughter. That needs to stop.

From my perspective, this pattern of using others when it suits you and shifting responsibility onto me is not acceptable. If you have something to say about me or others, say it directly. Otherwise, leave my name out of it completely. I am a Mukiga who doesn’t need your nonsense—learn who we are and stop making everything about Juliet or me snapping at you or the group that avoids confronting the truth.

If misinformation has been shared, I expect you to take responsibility and correct it. You, Margaret Musisi, chose to put me in your wedding and make me Ezra’s godmother—so don’t act like this came out of nowhere. You should calculate how much money was spent on your spoiled behavior over the years I could have been saving for myself, before I had to find my own way via Scarborough (2017-2020) and have Tracy V help me understand my rights as a tenant facing serious barriers with renting. You and Shambe were coddled by your mothers if you haven’t realized it yet! Try not having a steady home-base or using Elom and men….. and then come talk about someone “snapping” on you as horrible friends.

I didn’t marry for convenience or for shared assets/resources the way Shambe loves to highlight what she and Kevin can afford now. Great—a mortgage and two kids in Ajax.

In the words of Omi Iyamu “clap for yourself”.

Respect this boundary.

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What I Observed Over Time

Shambe and Mega, this is where I need to be direct.

From my perspective, this pattern of using others when it suits you and shifting responsibility onto me is not acceptable. If you have something to say about me, say it directly. Otherwise, leave my name out of it completely.

Shambe: Take the pictures of my parents out of your “wedding book”.

This must be done and can be verified in front of a neutral mutual witness, such as Mark Mutungi, Enoka Baino Jr, or Abbey Mushega, if you still need to be “babied” at your age. He is the father of Twiine and Musiime. How much energy and time have you taken from our fathers and from Elom?

Why are we pretending past 2026? Everyone knows who is really an ally of whom. Find a new set of Canadian parents to be Kevin’s parents or guardians in Canada.

Whatever you do with your marriage decisions is your choice—do not try to “verify” it with my family when we did not agree, and we met Robina Sali. That does not reflect the character of who we are. If you haven’t noticed, we have already wasted too much energy defending, clarifying, or untangling distortions after trusting your family, other families and the Katumba family.

We are not tools for “validation” as the “Mulera’s” or “Mbire’s” or “Tabaro’s” when we have our own family issues to deal with but most of the time we are dealing with the distortions that come from this same “community” that began with your parents (unresolved issues here) and Baganda leaders (Kiwanuuka’s and Mugabi’s etc) who don’t disturb us at all.

Your personal decisions—including your marriage—are your responsibility. Do not involve my family or try to validate those decisions through us. It doesn’t even make sense when you know I was close to Kevin AND the toxic behaviours that have happened with YOUR BROTHER since I was a CHILD (unresolved issues with Daphne in denial here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). Stop placing children in situations that are HARMFUL! Then wondering why I am angry?

If misinformation has been shared, I expect you to take responsibility and correct it. My life—and everyone you’ve meddled with through church connections or “Ankole” baiting—is not for gossip consumption and is not a tool to control who chooses to be friends with me or not.

Your marriage to Shonubi’s second born son did not “reset” social circles, and telling me I “had to tell Kevin who his friends were” in 2023 after Ulrich’s death and my own trauma is completely unacceptable. We were in YOUR families kitchen when you were saying that and Kevin looked miserable!

I shared information with Mega (2022) about your cousin’s business situation purely to inform Samantha, who referred me to her business. Why, then, do you try to frame me in Juliet and Denny’s child custody battle? When do you ever do anything that actually makes life easier for others instead of creating chaos? If you have an addiction issue: deal with it.

Stop framing others because you can’t face your damn self or even remember your wedding day! #JayeBaino

Respect this boundary. This is why I stayed sober during Brenda’s wedding. This group is just extremely messy with blurred lines and alcohol. #MakG

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Patterns, Not One-Off Incidents

This is not about a single moment. It’s about consistency over time:

• Being included when it supported your image or narrative
• Being excluded or dismissed when I needed clarity or support
• Watching roles like “godmother,” “friend,” “bridesmaid” (aka slavery) or “community member” be performed publicly
• Then seeing a complete shift in behavior once marriage or status was secured

From my point of view, that felt like being used as a supporting character in someone else’s story, rather than being respected as an equal.

I hope Tayo is recovering her own sanity and clarity after 2025.

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The Turning Point: Now!

The moment that solidified this for me was seeing how far things were taken—especially when my parents’ image and my name were, in my view, associated with narratives or situations I did not consent to.

That crossed a line. Where is the footage of me in the “HBD” by Tayo that was filmed by Samantha’s nigerian boyfriend? Do you think my life is for your families games??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

At that point, it stopped feeling like miscommunication and started looking like intentional positioning without accountability.

You do not have my permission to represent me, involve my name, use my talent or create narratives about me—especially through mutuals we grew up with. #Teeeeeeleeeeeeeoooooooooo

What has been most frustrating is seeing you involve and confuse people like Rowena Kizito, Rachael Nalumu, Lynette Tedoldi, and others who were around our age, including quieter individuals like Asher or Martin’s daughter. If I could speak luganda – I would have defended myself without Shambe or Mega’s versions of twisting reality. Especially since you recorded our trauma on Zoom and with Janice Assimwe and NO FOLLOW UP!!!!!! 2022

Using our images and personal information for your own family’s leverage and gain is a breach of human rights. This has become a pattern of community abuse and needs to stop immediately.

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Understanding the Dynamic

What I experienced aligns with patterns studied in Social Psychology:

• Social Exchange Theory explains why some people engage only when there is something to gain
• Impression Management explains how public roles can look genuine while private behavior tells a different story

From my perspective, this wasn’t mutual friendship—it was instrumental use of proximity.

The image of my parents in your wedding book is something I can never forget. Kevin looks like a prisoner in his own marriage. His decisions are his decisions but you are not dragging us into your complicated choices.

Taking their images out and finding new “Canadian parents” to represent him must be done and can be verified in front of a neutral mutual witness, such as Mark Mutungi, Enoka Baino Jr, or Abbey Mushega, if you still need to be “babied” at your age.

Why are we pretending past 2026—especially when Twiine is about to turn 28 and could really use some time with his father? I am so disturbed by how you completely disregard the reality of Twiine and Mukunde. These are our little brothers, and you know it! How are you even representing your father’s legacy?

Their dad is your dads cousin, no?

Everyone knows who is really an ally of whom. Whatever you do with your marriage decisions is your choice—do not try to “verify” it with my family when we did not agree, and we met Robina Sali. That does not reflect the character of who we are. If you haven’t noticed, we have already wasted too much energy defending, clarifying, or untangling distortions after trusting your family and the Katumba family. If your brothers have harmed Lena, Tina, or Sigyi —- why do Shambe and Belinda NOT UNDERSTAND THE REALITY OF HARM AND THEIR COVER UPS????????????????????????????

Your personal decisions—including your marriage—are your responsibility. Do not involve my family or try to validate those decisions through us. We did not agree to that, and it does not reflect who we are.

If misinformation has been shared, I expect you to take responsibility and correct it. Belinda kept going selling my own content through her business. Shambe you are not going to do squat with Tayo’s projects past 2025.

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On Selective Loyalty

What stood out most was selective presence:

• Present when there was visibility
• Absent when there was vulnerability
• Associative in public
• Distant in private

That is not loyalty. That is conditional engagement. Aries or not!!!!!!!!! Ethel (Pimpi) and my cousin Agasha are Aries and didn’t do that to me.

We keep it 100 if we are pissed off or grieving.

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Why I’m Saying This Publicly

I am saying this clearly because silence allows patterns to continue unchecked. You played with my career, body and money so it’s serious.

I also want to be equally clear:

This is not an attack (stop fake crying Belinda)—it is a boundary.

I am no longer available to:

• be pulled into situations that lack transparency
• be associated with narratives I did not agree to (especially when they harm the Baganda community in Kampala or the Diaspora)
• or be treated as a placeholder in relationships that are not reciprocal

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The Reality Cheque

Here is the bottom line:

• Not every connection is genuine
• Not every role is real
• Not every relationship is mutual

And most importantly:

In my experience, people do not fundamentally change their patterns after marriage or status—
they become more comfortable expressing them. This has been the hardest lesson for me to really accept since 2019/2020. Especially when I spent too much time including Margaret Musisi and I could have spent more time working and saving money for myself and just have Tina, Kina and Vanessa as my closest friends and sisters who understood how the absence of Rungyi was a lot on me since 2014. I have not had sister support or help through all these changes impacting my mother and I – but no one, not even the man who is called our father – stops to THINK about these small but serious details when it comes to functioning as a BLACK WOMAN born in CANADA! HELLO HEALTH!!!!!!! Watching my mother get thrown into bullshit because people like the Katumba’s and Muniini Mulera could not take responsibility was too much. Your political drama is so obvious now.

That is why I chose MYSELF and MY MOTHER > their shifting narratives.

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Final Statement

Shambe and Mega—this is my position, based on what I experienced and observed over time.

I am choosing clarity, distance, and accountability.

You are free to live your lives as you choose and continue advancing your education as women trained in healthcare. Emotional and mental health are deeply interconnected—so stop waiting for Juliet or Sigyi to pass their “window of tolerance” when it comes to navigating the nonsense in the community.

Every snap on Mega or Shambe was worth it.

You can no longer hide behind Arthur and Kevin post 2026.

Stop using them as instruments in your girl drama battles or when you want to gain favor with the Kertos! At this point – the Kerto’s have learned my boundaries very well. I don’t play about myself or my mother. Watching the immaturity of Liz and Kevin has been soooooo exhausting and I am glad the bullshit is over. I hate people who are fake nice or supportive. Honestly.

I am no longer participating in dynamics that, from my perspective, lacked honesty and mutual respect. Smiling on social media doesn’t erase reality.

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Closing Reflection

Some people treat relationships as tools.
Others treat them as real bonds and family. That is how I related with Kenny and Kevin Kerto before Liz found herself as a client of Kevin Kerto. Liz, your mom and siblings don’t know me and you can’t use Shambe’s mom as a cover for your actions that happen when they are not witnessing it in person.

I’ve learned the difference—and I’m acting accordingly.

Thank you, Jeninah and Esther. I’m sorry that your grief—from the late Mzee Mbabazi to Mzee Okurapa—was interrupted by periods of girl drama and wedding drama. I truly wish that had never happened.

For people who want to learn about my actual blood cousins and family in Canada (other than the almost Dr. Glory Mulera! My sister who is 35 soon!)….

Start here: David and John Mubanda – baganda + banyankore brothers!

https://watch.telusoriginals.com/view/it-takes-a-village

It Takes A Village to Heal A Child: A Newmarket Crew Story should be my own documentary title with Rachael, Tracy, Val, Vanessa and Kabarungyi.

Heal, Grow, and Flow

with River and co.